June 21: Curses

I hope I make it to church today because I need a good spiritual cleansing. This morning, as I often do, I was saying the rosary while driving. It’s usually very calming and keeps me from listening to talk radio shows that give me heartburn. Sometimes, though, I forget that I’m supposed to be in a state of holiness because, well, some people are really bad drivers.

In the middle of my first decade, right when I should be focusing on prayer and meditation, a car — no two cars — pulled out from a side street and proceeded to drive slowly across four lanes of traffic to land in front of my car. Here’s the thing: If you are going to pull out of a side street and get in front of me, do it fast. I have major respect for drivers who nearly cut someone off but immediately drive 40 miles an hour to avoid any issues. If you pull in front of me and you’re driving 15 miles an hour, though, you incur my wrath.

Which is why as soon as the second car pulled out and proceeded to drive at a snail’s pace in front of me, I lost all sense of grace.

“You JACK ASS,” I yelled to no one except myself. Then I laid on the horn because that’s as far as my road rage escalates.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to chop them into little pieces and throw them in the nearest trash can. Like, in the middle of a Hail Mary, I’m yelling “jack ass.” Who’s not feeling the spirit this morning? That would be me.

Bumper-to-bumper traffic is not my thing.

In these instances, I really think (hope) that God has a sense of humor. I mean, it’s a pretty clever piece of irony that I’m supposed to be focusing on prayer and I’m instead swearing at drivers. That’s funny, right? Right, God?

This is when your personal interpretation of the supreme being becomes particularly helpful. Who wants to think of a god that would be miffed because you chewed out a driver while praying? Maybe Jesus would have been annoyed in a similar way, although, let’s be honest, probably not. He would, of course forgive me, and that’s a good thing.

So two important musings on this sunny Friday:

  1. It’s okay to get mad at someone’s bad driving and forgive yourself for doing so.
  2. Maybe saying the rosary behind the wheel has its drawbacks.

Thursday, April 18: Crazy

We’re about halfway through the Latin Mass on Holy Thursday when it dawns on me: Jesus did some pretty out-there stuff. On Palm Sunday, he tells his disciples to go fetch him a donkey, then he rides it into town. This is to fulfill a prophesy, sure, but was anyone expecting it at that moment?

A few days later, during their Passover meal, Jesus just starts washing his disciples’ feet. Peter is rather appalled. Why in the world is the Lord washing my feet? Then, he does something even more cray-cray: He breaks the bread and calls it his body; he lifts the chalice of wine and calls it his blood.

At this point, the disciples are in a little too deep to just walk away. I wonder if any of them thought of it, though. “You know, Jesus over here is exhibiting some strange tendencies. I may have to cut out of this dinner early.” Everyone stays, though, including that scoundrel Judas, who’s about to turn in Jesus for some silver.

The point is, the disciples have followed Jesus all this time, and they’ve witnessed some unusual activity. Turning a loaf of bread and two fish into enough food to feed thousands of people, for example. By the end of the Passover with Jesus, they must think they’ve seen it all.

That is until days later, after he’s crucified, when he leaves the tomb and walks among them. Hold onto your hats, disciples!